Christmas in Konan
by Mad Squirrel
Summary: Sorry, I kinda missed publishing this on Christmas... Read if you have an unique sense of humor!!


Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Fushigi Yuugi and I don't own eggnog!   
  
Author's Note~ If you've read my other fanfic, you'll know not to take my fanfics seriously and please keep in mind that this is just for humor, I'm not trying to offend anyone, and yes, I am aware that the characters are extremely OOC. I hope you don't mind! Also, if you decide that you absolutely can't stand my fanfic, tell me so, just in a nice way. Give me some comments on how to IMPROVE my fanfic.   
  
~Mad Squirrel (aka Laura)  
  
Now, we begin...  
  
Laura: *singing* Jingle bells!!! Bat man smells!!! Robin laid an egg!!! The Bat mobile lost its wheel and the Joker   
ran away! Hey!  
  
All: *glaring at her*  
  
Laura: What are you glaring at!?  
  
Tamahome: I don't wanna listen to your ugly singing!!!  
  
Hotohori: I really don't want to be here....  
  
Nuriko: I want whatever Hotohori wants!!!  
  
Amiboshi: I want whatever Nuriko wants!!! (he's back...) [A/N- If you have read any of my other fanfics, you'll know   
what I'm talking about. But if you haven't, I have made Amiboshi do something extremely OOC: stalk Nuriko.]  
  
Nuriko: .. Grrrr...  
  
Amiboshi: I know everything about you, Nuriko... Heh heh, or should I say Cho Ryuuen?  
  
Nuriko: Screw you!!!  
  
Amiboshi: *disappears*  
  
Nuriko: I can't believe he's back... Now, I will have no peace whatsoever. *sigh*  
  
Miaka: Hey, do we have any food?  
  
Laura: Yes, in fact, we do!!!! *snaps and a bunch of candy canes fall on Miaka* Cuz its Christmas!!!! Jingle bells-  
  
All: SHUT UP!!!!  
  
Laura: :( Er, ok... *sniff*  
  
Miaka: Hey! I've seen these before!!! *starts chowing down*  
  
Tamahome: I thought they were some sort of weapon... *takes a candy cane and starts hitting it on Chichiri (who   
happens to be standing there)'s head*  
  
Chichiri: Da! That candy cane is half eaten no da!!! Its sticking to my head no da!!! Eww!!! Get it off!!! Get it off!!!  
  
Tamahome: I didn't do anything!!! *prances over to another "group" with the "innocent people": Mitsukake and   
Chiriko*  
  
Tasuki: *drinking the eggnog* *burp*  
  
Nuriko: Ne, is that non-alchoholic eggnog?  
  
Laura: Yeah, I wouldn't want Tas-chan getting drunk. ^^  
  
Nuriko: Hey, pass the eggnog!!!  
  
Tasuki: No, its mine!!!  
  
Nuriko: Tasuki, quit being such a greedy bandit and give it to me!!! *charges at Tasuki*  
  
Tasuki: *hands the empty bowl to Nuriko*  
  
Nuriko: AHHHH!!!!  
  
Amiboshi: I have some eggnog... *a carton of eggnog drops from the ceiling, into Nuriko's hands*  
  
Nuriko: Freaky... Oh well. *starts gugging it down*  
  
Miaka (now done with the candy canes): Nuriko, gimme that eggnog!!!  
  
Nuriko: *sigh*  
  
Tamahome and Yui: Hey, Author-san, what is that green thing hanging from the wall that we're both standing under?  
  
Laura: Its the missletoe no da!!! Mwahahahahahahaa!!!  
  
Tamahome and Yui: Huh?  
  
Laura: Now you have to kiss!!!! *giggle*  
  
Tamahome: *blush*  
  
Yui: *sly grin* (she knew what it was...)  
  
Miaka: *too busy gurgling done the eggnog to notice*  
  
Hotohori: *takes out his sword and cuts the missletoe off and it lands safely in his hands* This one is for Me and   
Miaka!!!  
  
Tamahome: HEY!!!  
  
Yui: HEY!!! Hey, Tamahome, will you kiss me?  
  
Tamahome: Um, er, I'm not suppose to, but ok.  
  
*yeah*  
  
Hotohori: Where is Miakaa!? I can't find her!!!  
  
Nuriko: *sees the missletoe* Oh, Hotohori... You could of just asked me to do it and I would... *giggle*  
  
Hotohori: Er, bye. *goes away REALLY fast*  
  
Chichiri: *running around* DA!!!! DA!!! GET IT OUT NO DA!!!  
  
Mitsukake and Chiriko: *exchanging gifts*  
  
Chiriko: Oh, some more books on the Astrological Fitness of Gradual Evolution! Thank you so much! *bow* [A/N-   
I made up subject on that book and I know that it makes no sense at all.]  
  
Mitsukake: Tama really likes his new kitty litter box. *snif*  
  
Both: Merry Christmas! *hug*  
  
Tasuki: Oh, that's so f**kin' gross!!! *belch*  
  
Mitsukake: Come on, share the love!  
  
Chiriko: Yes, you won't regret it!  
  
Tasuki: I'm outta here!!! *runs away*  
  
Mitsukake: Too bad Tamahome-san didn't want to stay with us.  
  
Chiriko: Yes, instead he is participating in teenager-like experiences with that dirty-blonde girl.  
  
Mitsukake: Tis a shame.  
  
Suboshi: *decorating a Christmas tree with blue ornaments* Oh, Yui-sama will think I'm so sweet because I'm   
decorating the tree!!! *sigh* *puts a load of large presents under the tree all saying: "From Suboshi To: Yui-sama   
heart, heart"*  
  
Amiboshi: *decorating the Suzaku Christmas tree with red ornaments* Boy, Miaka is going to love this... *timer   
goes off* Oh! And there is my meal I cooked for her!  
  
Nakago Claus: *barges in with two little elves hanging onto him: Tomo and Soi* Ho ho ho!!!  
  
Tomo: Ka ka ka!  
  
Soi: *hits him in the face* Shut up, you gay freak!!!  
  
All: It's Nakago Claus!!!  
  
Nakago: Yes, and I have presents for everyone.  
  
Soi: Me first!!! :x  
  
Nakago: Um, I'd like to just go around and give them. *starts at Nuriko* Here is a dagger. Use it well.  
  
Nuriko: What!? A dagger!? I didn't want this!!! I wanted some Barbie dolls!!!  
  
Nakago: *to Chichiri* Here is a bow and arrow. Don't kill yourself. Heh heh.  
  
Chichiri: Er, thanks no da? *continues to run around screaming*  
  
Nakago: *to Tamahome* Here is a mirror. Don't scare yourself. Heh heh.  
  
Tamahome: That's cold!!!  
  
Nakago: The truth hurts, boy. *moves on to Amiboshi* Here is a lead pole. Use it wisely.  
  
Amiboshi: Hey! I could make a flute out of this!  
  
Nakago: *to Miaka* Here is a revolver. *wink*  
  
Soi: Grrrr....  
  
Miaka: Hey, is it edible?  
  
Nakago: Sure... *evil grin*  
  
Miaka: *starts chewing on it*  
  
Nakago: *to Miboshi* Here is a whip. My personal favorite. Heh heh.  
  
Miboshi: Hey, cool! *starts whipping Ashitare*  
  
Nakago: *to Ashitare* And this is a mallot.  
  
Ashitare: *hits Miboshi in the head with a mallot*  
  
Nakago: *to Hotohori* Here is a sword.  
  
Hotohori: But I already have a much better sword!  
  
Nakago: Opps. *glares at Tomo and Soi, who packed the gifts*  
  
Soi: It was Tomo's fault!!!  
  
Nakago: Whatever. *goes on to Chiriko* Here is a machine gun.  
  
Chiriko: O_O  
  
Nuriko: HEY!!!! You can't give that to a little boy!!!  
  
Chiriko: Such power!!! Mwahahahahaha!!!  
  
Nakago: *pats Chiriko on the head* That's my boy.  
  
Mitsukake: Me next!  
  
Nakago: Oh. Well, you get a pencil.  
  
Mitsukake: A pencil!? What the?  
  
Nakago: They're more dangerous than you think.  
  
Mitsukake: UGH!!!  
  
Nakago: Now, Suboshi. Where is he?  
  
All: *shrug*  
  
Nakago: Where's Tamahome?  
  
All: *slient*  
  
Nakago: OH. Ok. Well, that's all.  
  
Tasuki: What about me!?  
  
Nakago: What's your name again?  
  
Tasuki: *blows up*  
  
Tomo: Isn't it Tasuke?  
  
Soi: You idiot!!! That's that guy from that other show!!!  
  
Tomo: Tasuku?  
  
Ashitare: Tasuka?  
  
Miaka: Tasuko?  
  
Miboshi: Dumbo, the flying elephant?  
  
Tasuki: _  
  
Chichiri: I know no da!!! It's Tasuki no da!!!!  
  
Nakago: Ok, whatever. Here. *hands Tasuki a bag*  
  
Tasuki: COOL!!!! COAL!!!! I could really use this!!! *starts to make a fire* [A/N- ISN'T HE CUTE!?!?!?!   
*melts*] 


End file.
